Mum to Mum Milton Keynes

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Family #Relocation to #Spain my story #CharityBlogging from my new home


“How has living abroad changed you? #Huffingtonpost article

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So I saw this cool article yesterday, 8 months into our relocation to Spain and i thought i would reply. In a few years I can do this again and see if/how it changes as the years move on…

www.huffingtonpost.com

In June 2014 we moved to Javea, Spain with our 2 sons. Harvey is 8 years old, Sebastian 3 years and they are in a local Spanish school.B17kxsICIAAx5vx

The Original article is at the end of this feature, here is my story from that article. Very interesting if you are thinking of relocating.

1. You’re not the same person you were.

I totally agree with the statement ‘the impact is huge’
I have lived overseas a few times when i was a holiday rep in 1997,98 and 99. I know how it feels to miss family but this time it was different. I have to support my family as we continue to run our business from Spain, comfort the children who miss their family/friends and deal with my own ‘roller coaster’ feelings.

The view from our window and on the school run is just awesome. I feel lucky every day that we have been able to grab life with both hands and give our boys a ‘good life’.

‘Making friends’

Everyone sees me as this outgoing, confident lady who has lots of friends but deep down i find it hard to make friends. I worry about what they think of me, if they like me and miss my trusted circle of mums/girls back home. I am getting there though and meeting some lovely people.

Our first 6 months were tough due to many problems in our rental property but rather than ‘go back home’ we toughed it out, changed our accommodation and moved on.

Our relationship nearly suffered from scars due to the stress but hopefully the next 6 months will heal these.

Now i am detached from the UK i have relaxed a lot and I am learning to worry less. I still do worry about the children though, especially when they are upset about school. However I am starting to worry less, as their growth, friendships and outdoor life makes me smile more. I feel like a ‘good mummy’ again as i hated the cold weather and rain. I would often want to stay indoors when the boys wanted to go out and get muddy!

‘Happiness’
I was so surprised four months in, that i was not feeling the level of happiness i thought i would. I had some really tough days and thought ‘what have we done’. Again I have to create and develop what i want to gain from this experience too.

What i have learned so far…

I can light a fire
I can learn another language
I can make new friends
I can live in another country without my husband when he has to return to the UK for work.
I do not feel like a strong woman but i must be a little bit brave?

“You are different now. You changed”.

I am more relaxed and i am not sure if i have changed yet?

2. You can never go back home.

“You could if you wanted to but it won’t ever be the same”.

I would miss the sun, the beach, the Elephant shaped mountain i see every day and although i could easily go home some days, our life is here in Javea now.

I do miss “them” but thank goodness for Facebook, Skype and cheap flights to the UK. In just 2 hours and we can be back in the UK.
I know who will be still in our lives in 10 years time after working abroad in the past, so i can deal with this ‘lose’.

3. Your world became a whole lot bigger.

It has indeed, so much to explore here in the Costa Blanca, Spain and the world. New friends opening new doors and new hobbies. Loving the coastal walks and Sports.

We will embrace this new life and our boys certainly are. Running around in their pants, outdoors all day and learning a second language. We are very lucky indeed to have this opportunity. We have worked hard and still work hard to ‘live the dream’ as they say. It is not one big holiday though.

4. Anything is possible.

“The hardest part was leaving. Now that you’ve left, anything is possible”.

It was hard leaving, especially when Harvey sobbed his heart out as we locked the door for the last time. That does seem like a distant memory now though and cheering him on as he plays football in the sun, is healing us both. Hearing him speak Spanish in confidence and surf in the sea really does make me happy.

“You’re a happier, more content, less restless version of the former “you.”

My S.A.D symptoms are less than in the UK, so then I had to admit, I think I suffer from something more. As I ‘relax’ more I believe I will be able to help this and having more ‘me’ time may aid the illness. I am not really sure why i am this way and maybe i will never know, but i do know that this life is an awesome one and I will learn to love it!
(Not sure I should have shared the above but my blog has been honest and true)

“The grass is greener” springs to mind.

“If you take the time to water your grass it will be just as green”

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We did it!

After years of talking about it, we finally did it :o)

We will make this work.

Till next time…

Thank you Russell

The original post…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/russell-v-j-ward/the-4-ways-living-abroad-changes-you-forever_b_6414222.html

1. You’re not the same person you were.

Living abroad is one of the most profound undertakings a person can make.

You don’t change job or move house, you do that and more. The scenery changes outside your window along with everything and everyone you once knew. The impact on you is huge.
You might not realize it immediately but one day you’ll see it for what it is. You grew, evolved and moved on. You faced setbacks and dealt with them on your own. You overcame obstacles, beat back the naysayers and you have the scars to prove it.
Some scars are good, some are bad, but nothing can ever be the same.
Things that were once important no longer matter. Things that didn’t seem important before now matter more. The value of friendship is paramount. Familiarity is a forgotten concept and you don’t take anything for granted.
The act of moving abroad made you realize that “things” don’t equal happiness. In fact, you start to redefine your original idea of success.
On this international journey, you learned more than just differences – people, places, language, culture.

You learned about you.

You faced challenges, got to know parts of you that you never knew existed and you’re amazed at what you’ve become. You’re amazed at the world.
You are different now. You changed.

2. You can never go back home.

You could if you wanted to but it won’t ever be the same.
While you experienced adventures at breakneck speed and your world slowed in order to incorporate them all, life at home carried on as before. People went to work, they did the groceries, they holidayed, they had birthdays, they got married, they changed jobs and they moved house.

And while everything appears to have stayed the same, the truth is that life moved on without you.
This is a huge price to pay with moving abroad. You can have the adventures and the experiences but you can’t have “them.” You’re missing everything from the life you had before and all you can do is watch from the sidelines as people carry on.

At some point, you realize you couldn’t go back even if you wanted to.

Some have tried and succeeded, others have failed. The problem is that your former life moved on, you moved on, and all the time you both moved apart.
Over time, phone calls drop off, emails are less frequent, contact lessens. You’ll never lose your friends and your family will always be family. But you’ll matter less to them and they’ll figure less in your new world.
It’s a harsh reality so face up to it. Or go back while you still can.

3. Your world became a whole lot bigger.

The moment you set foot abroad, the world grew in size.
New sights, smells and sounds opened up before you. The boundaries of your former life pushed out. The addiction to exploration became a permanent fixture.

And now there’s no turning back.

You always knew the world was this big but only when you stepped upon its far-flung corners did you realize just how big it is. How amazing it is.

Knowing this, marveling at its size and scope, how could you ever give this up? The answer is that you won’t. You can’t.
Because you’ll never stop searching for more.

Living abroad encourages independence and responsibility. It builds respect and an opportunity to appreciate everyone and everything around you. These lessons stay with you and shape the person you become.
Embrace the scale of what you’re doing. Rejoice in it.
Because it’s all good.

4. Anything is possible.

The hardest part was leaving. Now that you’ve left, anything is possible.
Remember that you changed and the old “you” is a distant memory. Think about what you can do now and what you achieved.
You can travel further, speak another language, cook diverse foods and embrace different cultures. You understand local traditions and festivities, open your mind to opportunity more frequently, approach relative strangers with confidence and kiss former home comforts goodbye.

You proved you can live abroad – and you survived.

You went for it and followed your dreams. Yes, you opened Pandora’s Box and you’ll not be able to close it but you’re a happier, more content, less restless version of the former “you.”
And finally you’re free.
You earned true freedom. Freedom to explore. Freedom to choose whatever you want. Freedom to be yourself.
You ditched the creature comforts and made a life for yourself thousands of miles from home.

You did it.

So pat yourself on the back, allow yourself a satisfied smile and get back to doing what you do best.
Because it’s working.

How has living abroad changed you?

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Categories: 'Best Bits', Family, From Milton Keynes to Spain, Move Abroad, Mum to Mum, Relocation, Spain

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2 replies

  1. Loved your story!!! Congrats!!

    Like

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